If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made
my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them
Very little is needed to make a happy life.
cuddling is probably one of the most passionate forms of love there is because you just feel so safe and close to the person and it feels like all your worries go away and it’s one of the greatest feelings in the world
I think “dildo” is a perfectly acceptable insult. Like, I’d call you a dick but you’re not real enough.
Married life with Ellen and Portia.
IDC HOW MANY TIMES IVE REBLOGGED THIS IT IS LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE FUCKING THING
my uncle used to be one of those people who drove dead people to cemeteries and such
then he became a taxi driver and the person he was driving tapped his shoulder to ask a question and my uncle screamed really loud
I’m sure that’s what he thought.